KIASU KIASI

Initially I got nothing to write on my blog.. Suddenly i think of the conversation between me and S about exam as below:

S: omg! today mission did not achieve..
Me: what mission?
S: study mission lo.... malas
Me: aiya... give u another 10days u also won't study finish de la...study until die meh..(i got a bit doubt when i type this sentence because it sound's familiar, macan is S told me before lo) today study, tomorrow forgot d...
S: yalo...hahaha... agree!
Me: actually we realise this thousand years ago but yet we still keep giving ourselves pressure on this matter.. (unbelievable that i will think this way actually)
S: no choice lo, kiasu and kiasi ma....

I still remember tat i am the kind of serious person in study matter. I always wanted to be a good student, good in manner, good in attitude, good in study as well.... I'm not a children from a rich family, I duwan my parent worried about me, i wanted to make my parent proud of me...  This is how i spent my 1/4 life to be a good child... Yes, i'm good in many's ppl view, my parent never worry bout me, i always reach their expectation...  Yes, i reach the goal to be a good child d, so? I think this is what most of the ppl outside there have done... like me.... There is nothing wrong to be a good child, dun get my words wrong... If i got this kind of child i think i will love him/her very much too.. as the child, u will feel lost some times.. like wat i feel ( not every ppl like me la) ..

Yes! I'm Lost! most of the time...I'm lost y i need to study?( although i'm not very pia la.. hahaha..) what i know that i was obliged to study.... besides study, there are many other things that we may try. I'm not dare to try, too many expectation put on me, too burden, feel like dying soon... I'm lost y am i  here at this moment... I never found the answer until i met a book.. Maybe i am being influence by tat book, but it really helps me a lot... It opened my view, a view from my heart. The book begins with road running : Everyone is running in their life, u do so. Have u ever think that y u want to run?  u are running, when ppl run faster than u, u will jealous; when u run faster than others, u will laugh at ppl and look down at them. U never think of the purpose of running , what u do is to follow others: ppl run u run. At the end of ur life, u still dunno y u wan to run. This is just a story to tell us to appreciate the every moment we had , enjoy and cherish it.

After finished my reading, i started to think what have i done ? study? besides study, playing? hahaha...  Suddenly the question pop out in my mind: y u want to study? y u choose law? for knowledge? or for an A, dent list?....  yes, i  realized that study is just a process of my life, a process eager for knowledge.. dun take result so seriously..there are many other things that i am not gonna to miss :p ( this is wat the most of ppl in FUU running for) So, no matter where am i, what am i doing, i will appreciate whatever i have experience with.. Result is not the final destination. It helps me rebuilt my inner character, i am no body, at the same time i can be some body, depends on my view, depends on who am i going to be. I am going to be a good student, at the same time i am ready to be myself as well...

The value i get from the book help me to put down a lot of things, study, friendship, fear, life... it widened the eyes of my heart and spirit.. So, dun be the one who kiasu kiasi d... kiasi a bit is good, u will gained from ur effort.. but kiasu is not good lo... kiasu will make depressed u, make u worried, stress and others negative impact.. maybe u will question whether this is one of the reason to avoid study hard.. But, my whole page here intended to tell u that beside study, u must enjoy life... dun push urself so hard, do according to ur ability... "no ppl is perfect" , takkan u wan to end ur life with a blank page? takkan u wan to spend ur one whole life to study, earn money and die~

kiasu kiasi is not a crime, but u will certainly lost the enjoyment of ur life, the purpose of ur life... u will not be the winner forever, u r not the king, u will face v failure one day, u will beaten down by others. Like the story, for sure there are many ppl run faster than u.. Enjoy life~